


Heroin

by flowercrownmikey



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Brief mentions of other boys, Crying, Famous, Fetus, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Sad, in the closet, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:04:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowercrownmikey/pseuds/flowercrownmikey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has his arm linked with Louis, running his fingers along the ink that was almost too obvious, too much of a coincidence that all of their tattoos somehow linked with each other. 'We're best friends' they'd managed to pull it off with. Management weren't happy, a new contract came, they always had to have one person in between then when they were in the public eye and eye contact had to be kept to a minimum.</p><p>Famous people can't be gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heroin

**Author's Note:**

> Drunk at 3am me wrote this and I woke up, read it and bawled. Figured I had to post it. I tagged it underage because Harry's young and can't be considered legal in some places.

Harry clumsily opens the door to their room, trying to keep their lips together as he pushes them both inside. Louis is still reluctant to kiss him back, but Harry can feel his defence weakening like always.

They're addicted to each other, no matter how wrong it is they can't seem to stay away.

"Please kiss me back," Harry whimpers into Louis' mouth. He closed the door behind them, lightly pushing Louis against it and pulling away from his mouth ever so slightly to stare into his eyes. Louis stares right back at him, eyeing his big round eyes, almost covered by his long curly hair, his red plump lips so close to his own and with a small whine he can't help himself.

Harry's filled with twisted joy as Louis presses forward and they're kissing again. He knows that it won't last though, they both know how wrong it is. Two boys, famous and in the same band, it'd never last. Management wouldn't let it happen, Simon would go crazy. Fuck, what would their bandmates say? Its so wrong, but it's so, so right and it kills them both inside.

Louis' thoughts mirror Harry's and he has to pull away, he tries, his head lightly tapping the hotel door but Harry's lips follow him, not able to leave the taste of his loves mouth just yet. He just wants to be close to Louis. Is that so wrong?

"Harry, baby," Louis can feel himself choking up, he can hear it in his words, "we can't keep doing this. Look at us." His voice breaks and Harry leans back every so slightly, feeling his breath getting caught in his throat himself as he looks at Louis.

"You're so pretty Lou," Harry can't seem to stop himself, all control fleeing out of the window and Harry always seems to be the weak one no matter how much Louis needs Harry too. Ever since they first saw each other, that was it, a few smiles, an exchange of words and they were both far gone for each other. At only 16 years old too.

"Please don't," Louis chokes out despite not wanting too. He's contradicting himself, leaning forward as he tells Harry that they need to stop for their own good. It's destroying them, watching each other on stage, sharing a look in interviews, having hotel rooms near each other. They can't seem to stay away, and it's killing them because they can't do this.

No matter how accepting people are nowadays, famous people, boys, can't be gay. One Direction would be known for it; it wouldn't be their music, it'd be 'that band with those faggots'. They aren't overreacting, they've seen it themselves, management told them stories when they saw how close the boys were.

One of them moved in, their lips connecting softly in a passionate kiss as they moved slowly against each other, tears already running down Louis' face.

"Please don't cry Lou," Harry talks against his lips, not wanting to lose the precious contact. Louis let's out a sob. "Baby," Harry chokes out, feeling himself weaken as he sees Louis' tears running down his precious cheeks. "You're too pretty to cry."

Freedom. If you could have one thing what would you wish for? All Harry wants is to kiss Louis, to look at Louis without having to sign another contract, to hug Louis without a scandal breaking out, to smile at Louis without having to take out another woman on a date. Harry just wants Louis.

The room is dark and both boys can barely see each other, never mind the other things in the room, but Harry blindly leads his love to the bed, unable to keep himself away as he lies them both down at the same time. Harry rolls on top of Louis, keeping their foreheads pressed together so he can breathe Louis' air.

Louis feels more tears silently travel down his cheeks and Harry gently swipes them away with his thumb.

"I need you," Louis didn't mean it in a sexual way, unlike all the other times, choking out the words with meaning because he needed his Harry. They'd been doing this, creeping around each other, fighting the urges to sit together, lay together,  be together for a year and a half since the band started on X-factor. One look at Harry and Louis had told himself that he was fucked, because Harry was cute and smiling at him and he was clumsy and fuck, Louis still has it as bad now as he did then. Louis thinks he can't live without Harry, and he doesn't want to. He'd hate to see the consequences of being away from him.

Harry presses his lips to Louis', slowly again, tasting everything, feeling every dimple and crevice of his soft lips and whimpering into his mouth because he doesn't want to pull away.

They kiss for a while before Louis, always being the strong one, pulls away again, letting out a cry that's strangled and broken.

"Please say it," Harry is begging him, feeling his eyes dampen and needing to hear the words that give him life, that keep him going for just a little bit longer before he feels the need for more.

"Harry," Louis chokes out again, unable to even form a connected sentence because of the pain his heart is in right now. Harry see's this, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before pressing their foreheads together again, their noses brushing against each other and breathing in each other's air.

Harry has his arm linked with Louis, running his fingers along the ink that was almost too obvious, too much of a coincidence that all of their tattoos somehow linked with each other. 'We're best friends' they'd managed to pull it off with. Management weren't happy, a new contract came, they always had to have one person in between then when they were in the public eye and eye contact had to be kept to a minimum.

Famous people can't be gay.

"I need to hear you say it. I'm driving myself crazy L-Lou." Louis couldn't pull himself away even if he wanted too, he was hooked, they were in too deep. How could they stay apart? They couldn't. It was a fucked up circle, going around and around and neither of them could stop it before it had already happened and they made each other so, so happy.

There shouldn't be anything wrong with being happy but this type of happy, the gay type of happy, it wasn't right. The secretive glances and touches and gestures, they weren't right but they felt so right. Everything felt so right and if Louis told you that he didn't want to marry the man on top of him right now then he'd be lying because he can't stay away. Louis is in love.

"We c-can't-" Louis cut himself off, linking eyes with the love of his life and staring at him, watching as tears filled his eyes and Louis knew the pain they were feeling was the same.

"Just this once. One more time. I j-just," Harry whispered out, the words cutting through Louis as he fought back a sob and Harry couldn't continue. It was always one more time and that was their problem. There were too many one more times.

"I love you," Louis finally whispered and it was like a wall had been broken, a brick pushed through and a new barrier opened because Harry pressed his lips back onto Louis', pressing down hard before pulling away again and peppering kisses all over and around his mouth. Louis had broken a barrier within himself too, "I love you so much that it hurts me. I love you. I love you so much Harry, and I can't s-stop and I don't want to and I just- I love you." Harry sobbed, pressing his face almost painfully into Louis' to try and get them closer together.

"I love you." Harry replied through his tears. They both knew they were destroying each other, crying into each other late at night because the boys had gone out and left them alone in the hotel. They can never be left alone, self control lapses and this happens. They're heroin, each other's drug and every single time they quit the urge comes back stronger until it chokes them, until one breaks and the other is too addicted to stop the relapse. And as they kiss into the night, unable to sleep because it would be over again by the time they wake up, they're both thinking the same thing.

You can't be famous and gay. Famous boys aren't gay, they're womanisers. Famous boys don't fall in love, famous boys like to fuck around too much to fall in love. You aren't gay and you aren't in love because it's not possible.

And they stay heartbroken and pressed together until the boys come back, and then they break apart, getting into their own respective beds and both silently crying silently into their pillows with an agonising pain filling them both as the boys talk about being drunk and girls they touched and danced with because that's what famous boys are supposed to do. They can't be famous and gay because that isn't right and that isn't what they're supposed to do.

And they cry and cry until they both fall asleep, waking up to feel the same pain but putting on a brave face. But it's only so long until the want comes back, until one of them needs their own personal hit of heroin and the painful relapse starts all over again.


End file.
